subtitles
wèi shén me nán shēng bù qù zhǔ dòng dì zhuī nǚ shēng
为什么男生不去主动地追女生
Why guys don’t pursue
kě néng yīn wèi xiàn zài nǚ shēng yuè lái yuè zhǔ dòng
可能因为现在女生越来越主动
Maybe because now girls tend to take the lead
tā méi yǒu zhè gè xīn qíng
他没有这个心情
And he’s just not in the mood
nán shēng zhī jiān kāi wán xiào huì shuō yǎng nǚ péng yǒu hái bù rú yǎng gǒu
男生之间开玩笑会说,养女朋友还不如养狗
We would make jokes like keeping a dog is better than having a girlfriend
dà jiā dōu shuō tiǎn gǒu bù dé hǎo sǐ
大家都说舔狗不得好死
Nice guys finish last
tā bǎ nǐ dāng bèi bèi tāi nǐ shì bù shì yào zuò yī gè tiǎn gǒu ne
她把你当被备胎,你是不是要做一个舔狗呢?
She treats you as a third wheel, and you’re still a sucker for her?
dān le liǎng nián le
单了两年了
I’ve been single for two years
liù nián
六年
Six years
dào xiàn zài lái suàn de huà wǔ nián le
到现在来算的话,五年了
Five years now
dāng rán huì yǒu a
当然会有啊
Sure have
xiǎo xué nà shí hòu yǒu qù zhuī zì jǐ xǐ huān de dì yī gè nǚ shēng
小学那时候有去追自己喜欢的第一个女生
I pursued a girl when I was in elementary school
qíng shū hái bèi lǎo shī méi shōu le
情书还被老师没收了
And my love letter was confiscated by my teacher
sān bù qū yuē chī fàn yuē kàn diàn yǐng yuē guàng jiē
三部曲,约吃饭,约看电影,约逛街
The classic trio, dinner, movie and shopping
zhǔ dòng jiē jìn tā
主动接近他
I’d approach him
jiù xiàng sī jiā zhēn tàn
就像私家侦探
Like a private detective
fēng kuáng dì kàn tā bó kè fēng kuáng kàn tā péng yǒu quān
疯狂地看他博客,疯狂看他朋友圈
And spy on his blogs and wechat moments
wǒ huì zhí jiē wèn tā a
我会直接问他啊
I’d just ask him
wǒ wèn nǐ dào dǐ xǐ bù xǐ huān wǒ
我问妳到底喜不喜欢我
Do you like me or not
rú guǒ bù xǐ huān jiù lā dào
如果不喜欢就拉倒
If not, that’s fine
jiù shì zhí nán biāo zhǔn sān lián wèn
就是直男标准三连问
They all ask the same three questions
chī le ma shuì le ma zài gàn ma
吃了吗,睡了吗,在干嘛
Did you eat, are you sleeping, what you doing
huí fù dé hěn kuài miǎo huí yě shì yī zhǒng měi dé
回复得很快,秒回也是一种美德
When he replies real quick, it’s a moral really
nǐ zuò zài tā duì miàn tā huì hěn yuàn yì yòng yǎn shén qù kàn nǐ
你坐在她对面,她会很愿意用眼神去看你
When you sit across her, her eyes linger on you
yī gè nǚ shēng rú guǒ dān dú yuē nǐ qù kàn diàn yǐng
一个女生如果单独约你去看电影
If a girl asks you to go to a movie with her alone
nà zhè gè yī dìng shì bù zhèng cháng de
那这个一定是不正常的
That definitely means something
dāng rán bù shì nǚ hái xiǎng dǎ fā shí jiān ér yǐ
当然不是,女孩想打发时间而已
Absolutely not, we are just killing time
rén shēng sān dà huàn jué
“人生三大幻觉”
“Three illusions of life”
dì yī tā xǐ huān wǒ dì èr shǒu jī xiǎng le dì sān wǒ néng fǎn shā le
第一她喜欢我,第二手机响了,第三我能反杀了
One, she likes me; Two, my phone just rang; Three, I’m gonna turn the tide
tīng lì kǎo shì gào sù wǒ men hòu miàn shì zhòng diǎn
听力考试告诉我们but后面是重点
Listening tests tell us, what really matters is what comes after but
nǐ hěn hǎo dàn shì nà gè shì dá àn
“你很好…但是”,那个是答案
“You are a nice guy, but…”, and that is the answer
wǒ yě jīng cháng zhè yàng bèi fā hǎo rén kǎ
我也经常这样被发好人卡
I get that a lot
còu yī fù pū kè pái chà bù duō
凑一副扑克牌差不多
If I had a nickel every time a girl said that to me
dāng rán kě néng yī gè yuán yīn jiù yīn wèi wǒ zhǎng de chǒu ba
当然可能一个原因就因为我长的丑吧
Maybe my look is one of the reasons
duì fāng jiù jù jué nǐ wǒ jué dé wǒ men bù hé shì
对方就拒绝你,“我觉得我们不合适”
They reject you, “I don’t think we are right for each other”
suī rán bù chéng rèn zì jǐ zhǎng dé chǒu
虽然不承认自己长得丑
I don’t think I look very bad
dàn shì xīn lǐ qīng chǔ dì míng bái zì jǐ de xíng xiàng shì zài wǎng xià pō lù zhè yàng zǒu
但是心里清楚地明白自己的形象是在往下坡路这样走
But I do admit that my appearance is heading downwards
zài dà chéng shì de huà wǒ jué dé jīng jì shì yī gè nǐ táo bù diào de yuán yīn
在大城市的话,我觉得经济是一个你逃不掉的原因
In a metropolis, financial condition is a major factor
hěn duō nán shēng qù cháng shì zhuī qiú dàn shì zǒng shì bèi lěng chù lǐ
很多男生去尝试追求,但是总是被冷处理
Many guys tried, but they were always left high and dry
bù néng shuō rén jiā yǐ jīng míng míng jù jué nǐ le
不能说人家已经明明拒绝你了
And when you are rejected
nǐ hái yào pīn mìng de qù wǎng rén jiā shēn shàng qù tiē
你还要拼命的去往人家身上去贴
It’s a courtesy to stop trying
zhǎng dà le zǒng guī duì měi jiàn shì dōu huì yǒu yī gè fēng xiǎn píng gū zhè yàng de yī gè jī zhì
长大了总归对每件事都会有一个风险评估这样的一个机制
As an adult, I have a mechanism for risk evaluation
jiù xiǎng de duō le zì rán jiù dòng de shǎo le
就想的多了,自然就动的少了
When I think more, I act less
qí shí dān shēn de rén hái shì kě wàng yǒu gǎn qíng shēng huó de
其实单身的人还是渴望有感情生活的
Single people want a love life
dàn shì xiàn shí jiù shì zhè yàng zi
但是现实就是这样子
But reality is cruel
wǒ níng yuàn xuǎn zé de shì wǒ xiān qù bǎ zì jǐ zuò hǎo
我宁愿选择的是我先去把自己做好
I would rather focus on me for now
kē jì zhè me fā dá
科技这么发达
Technology is developed to a such point today
huì yǒu yī xiē jiù shì xiàng xìng ài jī qì rén zhè zhǒng dōng xī
会有一些就是像性爱机器人这种东西
That we have sex robots
shēng lǐ shàng huò zhě shì jīng shén shàng yǒu yī xiē xū qiú
生理上,或者是精神上有一些需求
These robots can satisfy some of your needs
xìng ài jī qì rén jiù kě yǐ mǎn zú tā
性爱机器人就可以满足他
Whether they are physiological or psychological
wǒ huì gèng piān xiàng gēn xìng ài jī qì rén jiāo wǎng
我会更偏向跟性爱机器人交往
I prefer dating a sex robot
yīn wèi nǐ bì jìng shì tā de zhǔ rén ma
因为你毕竟是它的主人嘛
You are the master
tā jì kě yǐ wán chéng nǚ yǒu de gōng zuò tā yòu néng wán chéng lǎo mā de gōng zuò
它既可以完成女友的工作,它又能完成老妈的工作
It does both what your girlfriend does and what your mother does
wǒ jué dé tǐng hǎo de
我觉得挺好的
I think they are cool
bì jìng xiàn zài zhēn de nǐ yào shuō nán rén lǐ jiě nǚ rén hái shì bǐ jiào kùn nán
毕竟现在真的你要说男人理解女人还是比较困难
Now it’s next to impossible for a man to understand a woman
rú guǒ cóng jī qì jiǎo dù
如果从机器角度
But as a machine
tā yǒu hěn duō suàn fǎ hé shù jù
它有很多算法和数据
It has algorithms and data
suǒ yǐ de huà tā kě néng huì bǐ nǐ gèng le jiě nǐ
所以的话它可能会比你更了解你
With which it could know you better than yourself
rú guǒ nǐ yǒu qián wǒ dāng rán xī wàng nǐ de shí jiān
如果你有钱我当然希望你的时间
When you have money I would want your time
rú guǒ nǐ yǒu shí jiān wǒ dāng rán xī wàng nǐ de qián
如果你有时间我当然希望你的钱
And when you have time, then obviously money
xī quē zī yuán ma
稀缺资源嘛
Whichever is scarcer
yǒu yī dìng jīng jì néng lì cái xíng le
有一定经济能力才行了
You have to be financially capable
méi yǒu jīng jì néng lì dōu shì kōng tán le
没有经济能力都是空谈了
Or everything is just empty talk
yuè shōu rù wǒ jué dé zài wàn kuài zuǒ yòu cái gòu
月收入我觉得在2万块左右(才够)
A monthly income of about 20 thousand would do
nǐ zhì shǎo tán liàn ài zhèng cháng de chī fàn
你至少谈恋爱正常的吃饭
At least you can pay for dinners
yī qǐ chū qù mǎi yī xiē shēng huó shàng de dōng xī
一起出去买一些生活上的东西
Or when you buy groceries
huò zhě kàn diàn yǐng zhè xiē
或者看电影这些
Or watch a movie
nǐ yào yǒu néng lì qù zhī fù zhè xiē dōng xī
你要有能力去支付这些东西
You should be able to pay for them
wǒ jué dé zhì shǎo zài shàng hǎi de huà
我觉得至少在上海的话
In Shanghai, personally
nǐ shì yào yǒu zhè yàng de yuè xīn ba
你是要有10k-20k这样的月薪吧
You need to make 10 to 20 thousand a month
wǒ shì bù tài lǐ jiě tán liàn ài wèi shén me yào hé jīng jì guà gōu zhè gè shì qíng
我是不太理解谈恋爱为什么要和经济挂钩这个事情
I don’t see the correlation between maintaining a relationship and one’s financial status
rú guǒ nǚ shēng yǒu néng lì nà nǚ shēng zhuàn qián yǎng jiā yě méi yǒu shén me wèn tí
如果女生有能力,那女生赚钱养家也没有什么问题
Woman can be the bread winner, I don’t see a problem with that
wǒ jué dé zhè bèi zi wǒ zū fáng dōu kě yǐ le
我觉得这辈子我租房都可以了
I can totally spend my life in a rented apartment
wǒ wèi shén me yī dìng yào mǎi fáng zi
我为什么一定要买房子
Why do I have to buy one
wài tān yòu bù xū yào qián
外滩又不需要钱
The Bund is free
sān kuài wǔ jiǎo qián mǎi liǎng zhī qì shuǐ
三块五角钱买两支汽水
Soda is 3 and a half yuan
zuò zài nà lǐ wǎn shàng tán liàn ài zhè yàng duō làng màn
坐在那里晚上谈恋爱这样多浪漫
And we can hang out there at night
nà kě néng wǒ yǎng tā huì duō yī diǎn
那可能我养她会多一点
I would spend more for her
zhēn xīn huà dāng rán xī wàng tā yǎng wǒ
真心话,当然希望她养我
To be honest I hope she pays my bills
wǒ shì bù jiè yì nǚ shēng yǎng wǒ de
我是不介意女生养我的
I don’t mind living off a girl
wǒ jué dé tǎng yíng de rén cái shì rén shēng yíng jiā
我觉得躺赢的人才是人生赢家
I believe the one who wins easily is the real winner
liǎng gè rén yī qǐ hù xiāng yǎng bù hǎo ma
两个人一起互相养不好吗?
Can’t we support each other?
nǚ hái zi gèng xī wàng bèi nán shēng zhuī ba
女孩子更希望被男生追吧
A girl probably likes to be wooed
rén jiā nǚ fāng dōu gěi nǐ àn shì le
人家女方都给你暗示了
The girl has given you a hint
hái shì yào yǒng gǎn de hé xǐ huān de nǚ hái shuō wǒ xǐ huān nǐ
还是要勇敢的和喜欢的女孩说我喜欢妳
Have some balls and tell her you like her
fàng mǎ guò lái
放马过来
Bring it on
Subtitles turned off
Wow! You're awesome!
Wow! You're awesome!